New Things for New Year

I have no doubt whatsoever that this year is definitely the year of the wooden horse because come first month and I already feel like being in a horse ride full of humps and bumps. The start of the year is like being at the back of the horse, full of adrenaline disguised as fear yet there's no turning back. My life is changing right before my eyes and I am closer to puking because of motion sickness. However, I am thankful for this adventure especially for me who have gone tired of my own personal convenience. I'd rather be in this journey so I can get into my dream destination than to be stuck into idleness with nothing but frustration and hopelessness. At least with this ride, though I am struggling, I know I have the control to go where I want to.

Today, I decided to pause for a while and update this blog and though as if I am in a hiatus, believe you me; I haven't forgotten every bit of this site. There's just a lot of things on my plate right now that seem to devour all my thoughts rather than me devouring them.

One thing is my new work. As I type this, I am filled with anxiety- thinking of how I will survive yet another working environment. I realized that when God closes the door, He opens the gate. Yes, the gate is scarier but I have to enter because the signs tell me so and I know it’s the right thing to do. There’s no use in playing small, I tell myself. I’ve got to close the door of my past so I can see what lies ahead. Faith guides me and fear keeps me grounded. When there's fear, there's faith, just like twin sisters not letting each other go. So, I thank God for every feeling, for every opportunity, to be alive more than anything. I know this job opportunity will lead me somewhere and I am all ready to take that task of finding what. I know this is a gift and though I am fearful, I am so faithful, and for that I am very thankful.(Sorry, I don't mean to rap.)

Also, I decided to take over my life by listening to what I feel inside. This year, I decided to be serious with keeping a journal and let my pen guide me to my inner self and to communicate more with who I am within. It’s a form of meditation which I have forgotten few years ago. I didn’t just buy a notebook; I literally looked around the giant place of SM North EDSA to find my notebook. A true journalist knows that a journal is a material for self-connection and self-knowledge so it mustn’t be an ordinary page; it has to be something special. After a month of writing down my real thoughts and not letting anyone bother me whatsoever, I must say I am more connected with who I am.

While trudging alone, it came to my crazy aimless mind to finally get my third and fourth piercings, which are parts of my bucket list (of which I called “Push Mo Yan, Girl). I have always wanted to get new piercings but I am just scared to do so. Now I understand why other people are so addicted to piercings and tattoos because there is some sort of accomplishment with overcoming such pain. I know that my new piercings are far from being painful but I have to admit that it gave me a bit of angst for undergoing the process without anyone by my side. I still can't believe i went there alone. Independence is not really my style when it comes to freaky things like this but it allows me to take pleasure in pain.

For my good read, I love this book by Malcolm Gladwell titled "Outliers." It gives me such intellectual pleasure and reading it is like reading maze and puzzles. It's just so thought-provoking. It’s different from all the success books I’ve read because it suggests to look at the other factors on one’s success other than their ability and talents.Gosh. I feel old reading this book.

So, that's just about all the things I want to record in this blog. I am filled with guilt for not being able to create a beauty or nail-related post but I have lots of ideas cooking and I promise to serve them next time.